’s Blog

Various Sports Mutterings from!

Save a Gun – Pack a Knife

By now we all know Plaxico, aka Plaxident and fka Plexiglass, Burress is a complete fool.  Carrying a gun to the club and then busting a cap in yourself qualifies as one of the dumbest moves in the annals of dumb moves, but the FlyMaster can’t fault Plax for packing.  He just happened to pack the wrong weapon of choice.   What Plaxident needed wasn’t a glock or a concealed .22.  That’s for chumps.  If you want to keep it real carry a Bowie knife.

Save a Gun - Pack a Knife

Save a Gun - Pack a Knife

A knife you say?  Yes.  A knife.  A really big knife.  Guns discharge randomly and can harm anyone and everyone around.  How many random knife discharges have you ever encountered.  None.  Sure, you might not be admitted to the club with a knife strapped to your leg, but it’s a give and take world.  Any fool can hide a gun, turn it sideways, and reinact Tupac’s death, but sporting a knife means commitment, intent, and overall 19th century ruggedness.  Only a well trained posse of Shaolin Monks would dare mess with a man rocking a dagger of death.  The knife keeps it personal, and personal attention is what it’s all about.

So, all idiotic wannabe G’d up athletes take heed.  Save your bullets, get a knife (preferably 8-12 inch blade), grow a suspiciously ominous mustache, and guaranteed nobody will mess with you.  Then you can return to sipping on sizurp, making it rain, and smacking hos et al.  Got to go sharpen my bowie, my samurai sword, and my ninja stars.

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!

December 4, 2008 - Posted by | Features & Opinions, NFL, Stupid Athletes | , , , , , ,

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