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Open Letter From Donovan to T.O.

Let's Be Friends

Let's Be Friends

In my ever-growing passion for voyeurism, snooping, stalking, and overall invasion of others rights, I was able to uncover a letter that Donovan McNabb passed to Terrell Owens after the Eagles spanked the Cowboys with all the brotherly love they had.  I bring you this letter, although displaying it here may cause me significant bodily injury.

Hello Terrell,

Hey man, how’ve you been?  I saw you out on the field today and I wanted to say what’s up, but you seemed kind of busy and distracted.  Now I know we beat you today, but keep your head up and know that we’ll really make the most of playoff spot.  C’mon man, be honest.  Were you guys gonna really make a show with your QB always looking for Jason Witten?  I’ mean, Jason Witten!  You should’ve called a meeting or done some pushups in the driveway to show them how you’re the real deal.  They needed to be looking to number 81 all day, don’t you think?  I guess you’re a bigger man than me because I’d be yelling at everyone on the sidelines if that sh*t was happening to me.  It’s good to see you’ve grown.

Speaking of the past, man I’m sorry I didn’t understand how to communicate with you when you were up here.  I thought that when you berated me on the sidelines, divided the locker room, and threw me under the bus (multiple times) it was because you were a primadonna, bitch-ass, immature punk, but in reality you were nothing but class.  We should have been throwing to you all the time and we actually needed you to be head coach, GM, special teams coordinator, and owner.  My bad, my man.  My bad because I see how it worked out for the Cowboys when they catered to your every need.  Y’all went pretty far this year and exceeded a lot of expectations.  I’m just sorry we had to keep you out.  Andy Reid, you remember him right?  Well, Coach Reid sat me down this year and I thought a lot about how you would handle it.  I thought, “what would the humble TO do?”  So I sat back and did exactly the opposite, so I really thank you for being a role model.  In a sign of my appreciation and gratitude maybe me and you can get together in the off-season to run routes and devise new schemes for you to get the ball so that Witten and Marion Barber don’t steal all your thunder.  I won’t be available until after we win the Super Bowl, but wouldn’t that be loads of fun?  Me and you playing catch like the good old days.  Let me know if that’s cool with you. 

Hey man, I have to go prepare for my victory press conference and all the stuff that goes with being a winner (you remember that feeling, right?).  Anyhow, have a good New Year and good luck in the offseason.  Oh…by the way, Jeff Garcia says what’s up.

Your Friend,

Donovan

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!

December 30, 2008 - Posted by | Features & Opinions, General, NFL, Talkin Trash | , , , , ,

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