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Just Don’t Let Me See You Shoot No Dogs


Dont Mess With Drew

Don't Mess With Drew

9 year old Bakersfield, Ca. native Drew Heredia already owns the FlyMaster’s 2009 Athlete of the Year Award.  It’s over, so tell Mike Phelps, Lebron, Tiger Woods to look forward to 2010.  Drew Heredia was strutting down the street last week when he, a little lady friend, and their pet dog were assaulted by a pit bull.  The pit bull first attacked the little dog, then it attacked Drew’s friend.  Drew Heredia don’t play that junk.  Promptly, Drew jumped on the pit bull’s back and proceeded to choke the dog out using the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu he’d been studying.  That’s what I’m sayin’!  That kid wins the award hands down. 

First of all, pit bulls catch an overall bad rap, but every once in a while a rogue pit makes the news after mauling some kids or old folks.  That’s usually because they’re owned by methed-out, trashy fools who treat animals like beasts.  Enter Drew Heredia.  He sent a message to pit bull nation loud and clear.  “Pit bulls can fade Jiu Jitsu.”  Drew, you’re a bad man.  Not only did Drew teach the dog a lesson, he didn’t even have to kill it.  That’s martial arts on the highest level.  Bruce Lee and Miyamoto Musashi are smiling down on Sensei Heredia today for his display of control and valor.  I’m thinking of moving to Bakersfield to take lessons from this kid.  Be my guide, Drew.  Lead me from the squalor of selfishness into the lightness of being that is.  After learning how to choke out pits, I’m going to focus on other animals.  Bears, marmosets, camels, manatees…no rogue animal will be safe once Sensei Drew finishes with me.  Life has purpose once again. 

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!

January 7, 2009 - Posted by | Features & Opinions, General | , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. […] Vallhund. This year’s competition has been switched up to boost ratings. Word has it that Michael Vick will be asked to referee the Best in Show match, with the losing dog being placed on the Signature […]

    Pingback by This One’s For the Bitches «’s Blog | February 9, 2009 | Reply

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