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Various Sports Mutterings from Sportsfly.com!

Bryant gets Bulldogged by NJIT?

If you haven’t heard, the New Jersey Institute of Technology snapped a 51-game losing streak Wednesday night beating the Bulldogs from Bryant. NJIT held the longest losing streak in the NCAA for a team playing a D-1 schedule. This team had not won a game since 2007 and they were celebrating like Marisa Tomei was giving them all lap dances. Coach Jim Engles said, “We deserve this. We deserve to win most of our games, because we work so hard every game. The kids never quit. I’m really happy for them,” Yeah you really deserve it, congratulations you are now 1-18.

Bulldogs help snap 51-game losing streak

Bulldogs help snap 51-game losing streak

Now this story hits real close to home. Being an alumni of the Bryant Bulldogs I received about 12 emails with the same sarcastic wit. They ranged from:

“How bout them Bulldogs”, “That can’t be good for business”, “Bulldogs, more like peeing Poodles” and finally “NJIT beat Bryant? Who the F*** cares!”

First of all, we’re in the rebuilding process. We’ve just become a University and starting playing division 1 schools. I mean we only lost to Maryland by 19 points. Now that’s something we can work on. The sky is the limit, we can only get better from here. Alright, enough with the clichés, I had to get down to the source of it all. So I made a phone call to a friend we once called the Prince of Pawtucket. An alumni of Bryant who not only played hoops but moved like a graceful Acie Earl. His name was Georgie “High Tops”. Since he lived in Rhode Island, I figured he’d have the scoop of what actually went down Wednesday night.

George was out eating some baklava down in Pawtucket when I disturbed him. He quickly turned to code language once I addressed the issue of the Bryant loss. He said, “Yeah I know what went down, it was a business thing.” A business thing…what do you mean? “They paid off the President of Bryant, Bulldogs being a business school…we took a dive.” And there it was. Now it all makes sense. Being new to Division 1, we are paying our dues even if that means giving the worst team in the country a victory. I knew Bryant made dreams happen but never the impossible come true. This compares to the time Barack Obama walked on water in D.C., if you can dream it you can do it. So don’t worry fellow Bryant alumni’s, we’ve only just begun to bring the terror to the D-1 basketball. Remember, anything is possible.

*Bryant President told me to go screw and never call him again when questioned, story probably not true.
RaginRondo

January 22, 2009 Posted by | College Basketball, Features & Opinions, Talkin Trash | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mark McGwire’s Brother is a Rat

 

Beat Your Brothers Ass!

Beat Your Brother's Ass!

Mark McGwire did steroids.  We know this.  This isn’t a big deal anymore.  Silence is admission of guilt, and when was the last time you heard Mark McGwire speak?  That’s right, it was when he pleaded the fifth like a Chappelle’s show skit.  Well, in a story that’s about as tired and used up as a hooker at a 1994 house party at Michael Irvin’s house, Mark McGwire’s younger brother Jay is making headlines (more like footnotes) with a proposed book that details brother Mark’s steroid use.  Big whoopty-do.  It should be noted that Jay and Mark are estranged and Jay claims that he introduced Mark to ‘roids after Mark saw Jay win a bodybuilding contest.  Jay’s looking for a payday and that’s where the FlyMaster’s ire gets raised.

Assaults on filial piety, the sanctity of the family, and sibling bonds are the lowest of the low.  Rats are dealt with pretty severely in prison, and thus they should be karmically retributed against with the utmost impunity when they betray their family.  All families bicker, fight, become estranged, burn each other’s houses, beat each other’s puppies, but that all stays in the family.  That’s rule number one.  Jay McGwire broke the golden rules of being a family member and in his meager attempts to capitalize on his brother’s demons only make him a demon of higher caliber.  What’s next, Jay?  Are you going to rat out your other brother Dan, one of the worst NFL QB busts in the last 30 years, for being a hideously bad gunslinger who was a product of the San Diego State offense of the late 1980s?  You jerk

Please allow the FlyMaster to make an open statement to the FlySister.  FlySister, if you ever rat me out on all the ridiculously dumb, dimwitted, nefarious stuff the FlyMaster is responsible for the FlyMaster will find you.  Find you he will.  However, if you choose to write some memoir of FlyMaster’s foibles please ask for more than $100K, although I doubt you’d receive more than $4 bucks, a six pack of Pabst, and some gummy bears.  But, on the real side, the FlySister understands this agreement as an unsaid code of siblings.  That’s what makes Jay McGwire even more of a douchetard.  He didn’t even realize the idiocy and ignorance of his actions.  Remember people, nothing is more important than maintaining belief in your family members even if they’re a walking petri dish of HGH, horse testosterone, and cow urine.  Back acne and rages aside, he’s still your brother. 

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!

January 22, 2009 Posted by | Doping, Features & Opinions, General, Major League Baseball, Talkin Trash | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment