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The Real Steel

RAVENS STEELERS

I can't even jinx the Steelers on Sunday

With the Super Bowl right around the corner, there’s some rules to go by when your picking your winner. Many years I’ve cheered and bet on the underdog and I’ve lost more Super bowls than one can imagine. I rooted for Jim Kelly and the Bills every time in the early 90s. Talk about building your super bowl resume early in life. The only joy I had was a Steve Tasker caused fumble. I even remember 99’, learning the dirty bird and hoping for Hotlanta to burst. I’m still waiting for Jamal Anderson to show up…loss. I had a decent run with the Pats and predicting their victories but that’s no surprise. My lowest point was 2006, the Bears vs Colts. I was throwing out Empire Records quotes about Rex Manning day throughout pregame. I somehow chose to side with “Sexy Rexy” and found myself drinking heavily. The underdog card will not work this time around either. Here’s some simple rules to live by from yours truly.

Rule 1: Leave emotions out of it. If you’re simply betting against a team like the 90s Cowboys or the Peyton 06’ Colts just because you hate their mere existence then you’re bound for the floor.

Rule 2: When you’re siding with God and Kurt Warner, then you’ve let religion take over, DON’T. Warner has had a great year and playoffs but he’s going to be put on his back more often than Hayden Panettiere.

Rule 3: If you could place a second half bet on the team who didn’t receive the ball, hopefully in this case the Steelers, you should probably do it.

Rule 4: First team to score usually loses the game. I’m serious, I don’t care if Devin Hester returns the kickoff for a touchdown, there’s no way they’re winning this game. Damn YOU REX!

Rule 5: If you are a fan of one of the teams in the Superbowl then please just sit back, gorge on some food and beer and enjoy the game without any monetary involvement in it. Trust me on this one. You don’t want to end up getting so emotional over your teams loss that you actually forget about the bet you put in on them until the next time you check your account, or get a phone call from your bookie reminding you again of what happened that day causing you to send threatening letters to the referees of that game for missing the two blatant holding calls on that Tyree catch…..see what I mean.

My prediction, the Steelers are going to roll on Sunday. Even if the Cardinals run the Annexation of Puerto Rico 12 times against the Steelers, they would still lose by 10. So get your popcorn ready and pull out your terrible towels folks, let’s get ready for some football!

Let’s hope Bruce has no wardrobe malfunctions

RaginRondo

January 29, 2009 Posted by | NFL | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

NFL 2008: Crazy

As 2008 draws to a close and 2009 brings us the beginning of the playoff season, we should look back on what makes us love football so much.

The great thing about the NFL season is that, no matter what you think you know, you really know nothing.  When the NFL schedule was released in spring 2007, everyone thought the Cowboys would be Superbowl champs.

Crazy.

Everyone thought the Dolphins and Falcons would be battling for the number one pick.

Crazy.

Many thought that Tom Brady would help lead the Patriots deep into the playoffs and that the Eagles were getting ready to say goodbye to the Donnovan McNabb era.

Brady Goes Down

Brady Goes Down

Crazy.

Early in the season, many thought that the Redskins were a great team and that Jason Campbell was emerging as an elite quarterback.  Many thought that the Buffalo Bills had finally become contenders in the AFC East.

Crazy.

Who would’ve thought that the hard-nosed Tampa Bay Buccaneers would lose all of their games in December, including a match-up against the lowly Raiders, thus ending their playoff hopes?  Who would’ve thought that in the same game–in the fourth quarter no less–that running back Carnell Williams would tear up his knee yet again after a year long rehab?

Crazy.

Who would’ve thought that we would’ve seen a team like the Patriots come so close to immortality in February and just ten months later, see the Detroit Lions get inducted into the Hall of Shame?

Lions go 0-16

Lions go 0-16

Crazy.

Who could have forseen that this time a year ago, Michael Vick began his prison sentence.  Just one year later, his Falcons have a franchise quarterback, a coach of the year candidate, and a playoff birth?

Crazy.

Who would’ve thought that Drew Brees could throw for over 5,000 yards (coming 16 yards shy of the passing record) and 34 touchdowns and not even be in serious contention for the MVP award?

Crazy.

Who would’ve thought than the Patriots could go 11-5 and miss the playoffs, while the 8-8 Chargers host the 12-4 Colts and the 9-7 Cardinals host the 11-5 Falcons this weekend?

Crazy.

This has been a season of surprises and jaw dropping moments.  As Don Cheadle (below) once said, the “crazy” is why we love it.

December 31, 2008 Posted by | NFL | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Curious Case of Romo’s Favreness

Farewell Favre

Farewell Favre

Jets fan for a day, suicidal by night! One of the many playoff scenarios involved the AFC East. After watching my beloved Pats dispose of the Bills in windy Buffalo, I had the distasteful chore of having to root for the Jets vs. Miami. I wanted neither team to win this game praying for a McNabb miracle tie. Then I heard Brett Favre’s pregame speech to his offense which went something like; “Alright guys, let’s get back to playing the football when we won 5 in a row. No matter how this goes, win or lose, we gotta put our best effort forth and that’s all we can do. Love you guys”. Followed by half his team running back in the tunnel and tucking their balls in their purses. Then Favre mailed it in after his first TD celebration. The guy showed no emotion or grit, while his offense forced me to smash my head into the wall just hard enough to cause blurriness and borderline consciousness. I figured if I had to be a Jets fan, then I had to boo and throw snow balls like the rest of the Zoo Yorkers. One pick, two pick and then pick number three sealed the fate of Mangini and the Pats. Like any New Yorker, I left the game early and found myself watching continuous commercials for Marley & Me. That’s what Brett Favre can do to an afternoon and to the hopes of an 11-5 New England team.

Romo, the new "old" Favre

Romo, the new "old" Favre

Now to the new “old” Favre, Mr. Romo. Tony Romo has become about as clutch as my friend Danny’s attempt to hit on women after 6 hours of drinking. Danny speaks in a German-like tongue, juggles his drinks and falls on the floor. Now that’s Tony Romo in a playoff like atmosphere. He’s the new Brett Favre of our generation. A gun slinger who can fool you 67% of the time but when he needs to seal the deal under pressure, ends up throwing an INT. Going back to my friend Danny, when he needs to seal the deal, he calls the girl a sexy little biatch and falls flat on his face. The female usually runs in the other direction but takes his phone and throws it in the women’s bathroom toilet. It’s crazy the similarities here. Philadelphia trounced the dramatic Cowboys into the ground thanks to Romolicious pulling his best Favre impersonation. 183 yds and 1 Int, Pro Bowl numbers in a win or go home game. All I ask is that Wade Philips now gets fired for his useless, awful attempt at coaching. TO certainly won’t beshedding any tears for his QB anymore. And you better believe Jessica Simpson rids herself of Romo after watching him collapse. After Sunday, Tony’s going to need a new girl and a cell phone. I got a feeling that thing is flushed down the toilet like the hopes and dreams of Cowboy fans everywhere.

Life isn’t measured in minutes, but in moments.

RaginRondo

December 29, 2008 Posted by | NFL | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

20 NFL Questions

Braylon Edwards of the Browns

Braylon Edwards of the Browns

1. Why does Braylon Edwards blame the fans of Cleveland for his icy reception instead of blaming his own two hands?

2. Speaking of Cleveland, how in the world can the Dolphins go from 1-15 in 2007 to potential division winners in 2008, but the Browns haven’t come close to that in the ten years since their return to the league?

3. Do you think the winless Buccaneers of 1976 really want the Lions to win a game?

4. Why can’t T.O. simply utter these two words when posed a question?: No comment

T.O.

T.O.

5. After seeing the success of the Patriots during this decade, why does Jerry Jones continue to invest in trouble making divas?

6.  Is it possible that GM Carl Peterson actually fell on the sword to save his buddy Herm’s job?

7. Is  anyone else as tired as I am of these Miller Lite “More Taste League” ads?

8. And can I just watch a football game without being bombarded about commercials discussing erectile dysfunction, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, and cancer?

9. Don’t you hope that this disappointing season won’t be an aid in moving the Bills out of Buffalo?

10. Can we please do away with the Pro Bowl and just have skill competitions?

11. Speaking of the Pro Bowl, did Brett Favre really deserve to be voted in?

12. Aren’t you surprised that you haven’t seen Peyton Manning in more ads this year?

13. When Al Davis inevitably fires his interim head coach, who in the world will want to coach this team?

14. Is wide receiver Jerry Porter the worst free agent signing of the off-season?

15. Isn’t Michael Turner the best free agent signing of the off-season?

16. Do you think the San Diego Chargers regret letting Turner walk away? 17. If he had a decent quarterback, wouldn’t Adrian Peterson be well over 2,000 rushing yards by now?

18. Isn’t it hard to believe that recently convicted O.J Simpson was one of the best backs the NFL has ever seen?

19. Aren’t you tired of ESPN’s John Clayton reporting a story one day, and contradicting himself the next?

20.  How is it that no matter who coaches the team (who plays for the them), the Steelers always win?

December 19, 2008 Posted by | Features & Opinions, NFL, Talkin Trash | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments