Sportsfly.com’s Blog

Various Sports Mutterings from Sportsfly.com!

Straight Cash’s Super Bowl DO’s and DON’Ts

All right, you got your gear, you got a place to watch, so now, here are some do’s and dont’s to prep you for the big game and party.

My ticket to the Big Game

My ticket to the Big Game

If you’re a visitor to the party:

1) Do bring something — anything, a Steinlager 12-pack, wings, dessert, something. Even if you’re broke, you can scarf up for a bottle of Thunderbird or Pabst; just show that you appreciate your host’s sacrifice.

2) Do Not get too drunk before the game starts (applies to host also) — You don’t want to be blacked out if Warner throws a winning Hail Mary or Polamalu seals it with a pick … it’s all about a smooth slip into inebriation. 6 to 8 brews by kickoff is optimal (this applies to a guy around 180 pounds, add one beer per 30 pound level up).

3) Do Not double dip — and that not only applies to the ranch dressing, but to your pal’s spliff stash or his hottie chick.

4) Do Not bring any suckas to the party — No annoying girlfriends or “marks” who have no concept of a first down. SIDE NOTE: Be very prepared to feel the wrath if you go to a Cardinals party and you’re the only one rocking the black and gold (or vice versa)

5) Do have fun — Cheer and yell with gusto! Boldin just scored, stuff that Terrible Towel in that Pitt guys face.

6) Do know when to shut yer trap — during the anthem, commercials (yes, commercials) and when they present the trophy (optional during the Boss’ halftime set).

7) Do prepare for the post-game properly — designate a driver (BEFORE the game) or stash a sleeping bag in your trunk, or stash the designated driver in a sleeping bag in your trunk.

Set channel & volume. Unload battery. Stash.

Instructions: Set channel & volume. Unload battery. Stash.

As a host, not much: You already provided enough eats, drinks, TV and pad. You’re the master of your domain, but just a few things:

1) Do Not channel surf — Once the game starts, put the remote away for the next 4 hours. Yes, it’s your remote control. And yes, it’s your house. But the Super Bowl is bigger than you brother, and you became Obama-esque when you signed up for this (you’re here to serve, protect and deliver).

2) Do provide proper and plenty of trash receptacles — easy clean up, less stink; because these jokers you’re inviting think that they’re tailgating indoors.

3) Do provide for the post-game — ice cold water, fresh coffee, taxi numbers, instant soups, and in some cases, extra sleeping bags (or at least sweep the pick-up truck bed).

Finally, if you’re like me and watching the game with newborn in tow while the Mrs. has a “self-day,” then no rules apply. Do what you want, you’re the king of the castle. Though you might wanna take it easy on the booze, because you don’t want to make any nacho mix-up with the con queso dip and the nearby diaper.

Any other “do’s” and “don’ts” that I forgot?

Enjoy another wonderful American Institution.

Straight Cash … Homey!

January 29, 2009 Posted by | General, NFL, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Real Steel

RAVENS STEELERS

I can't even jinx the Steelers on Sunday

With the Super Bowl right around the corner, there’s some rules to go by when your picking your winner. Many years I’ve cheered and bet on the underdog and I’ve lost more Super bowls than one can imagine. I rooted for Jim Kelly and the Bills every time in the early 90s. Talk about building your super bowl resume early in life. The only joy I had was a Steve Tasker caused fumble. I even remember 99’, learning the dirty bird and hoping for Hotlanta to burst. I’m still waiting for Jamal Anderson to show up…loss. I had a decent run with the Pats and predicting their victories but that’s no surprise. My lowest point was 2006, the Bears vs Colts. I was throwing out Empire Records quotes about Rex Manning day throughout pregame. I somehow chose to side with “Sexy Rexy” and found myself drinking heavily. The underdog card will not work this time around either. Here’s some simple rules to live by from yours truly.

Rule 1: Leave emotions out of it. If you’re simply betting against a team like the 90s Cowboys or the Peyton 06’ Colts just because you hate their mere existence then you’re bound for the floor.

Rule 2: When you’re siding with God and Kurt Warner, then you’ve let religion take over, DON’T. Warner has had a great year and playoffs but he’s going to be put on his back more often than Hayden Panettiere.

Rule 3: If you could place a second half bet on the team who didn’t receive the ball, hopefully in this case the Steelers, you should probably do it.

Rule 4: First team to score usually loses the game. I’m serious, I don’t care if Devin Hester returns the kickoff for a touchdown, there’s no way they’re winning this game. Damn YOU REX!

Rule 5: If you are a fan of one of the teams in the Superbowl then please just sit back, gorge on some food and beer and enjoy the game without any monetary involvement in it. Trust me on this one. You don’t want to end up getting so emotional over your teams loss that you actually forget about the bet you put in on them until the next time you check your account, or get a phone call from your bookie reminding you again of what happened that day causing you to send threatening letters to the referees of that game for missing the two blatant holding calls on that Tyree catch…..see what I mean.

My prediction, the Steelers are going to roll on Sunday. Even if the Cardinals run the Annexation of Puerto Rico 12 times against the Steelers, they would still lose by 10. So get your popcorn ready and pull out your terrible towels folks, let’s get ready for some football!

Let’s hope Bruce has no wardrobe malfunctions

RaginRondo

January 29, 2009 Posted by | NFL | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Let Hyperbole Rule The Day

The Super Bowl experience increasingly wraps and intertwines itself in a bind of hype, hyperbole, and overexposure.  Turn on your TV, radio, or computer today and everywhere you turn Super Bowl 43 stares at you like that money you would have saved if you signed with Geico.  From Sunday to Sunday the coverage is simply too much.  There is no way the game can ever live up to the hype that precedes it.  It’s Monday morning and I’ve already heard the following stories.

  1. Hines Ward is waking up every 3 hours to take medicine and ice his knee.  Big f’*cking deal.  So does the FlyGrandma.
  2. Tampa Bay is bracing itself for a week of record crowds.  New York just called to say “shut the f up.”
  3. Arizona players are spending Monday and Tuesday dealing with the logistics of giving out tickets.  All of America is busy ducking creditors, so giving out tickets seems mighty easy.
  4. This just in…Kurt Warner thanked Jesus.
  5. Mike and Mike on the Radio just went through their top Super Bowl moments.  Every other media outlest will publish their lists by noon on Tuesday.
  6. The weather in Tampa is nice. 
  7. Ben Roethlisberger is happy to be back in the Super Bowl.  What is he supposed to be, pissed off?
  8. Arizona feel like underdogs and nobody respects them.  You know who’s not respected?  The homeless, three-legged dogs, middle-aged call girls, honeybees, and teachers.
  9. John Madden is riding a bus to Tampa.  No shit.  Wow, is it filled with Turducken?
  10. Vegas is bracing for a record in bets.  Of course it is, everyone who’s broke is looking for the quick come up.

Dont Believe the Hype

Don't Believe the Hype

Brace yourselves for the wave of inundation.  If the game can be 1/10 as good as the hype machine says it will be, we’ll have ourselves a game worthy of being played in week 12 of any season. 

 

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!

January 26, 2009 Posted by | Features & Opinions, NFL, Talkin Trash | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Metal Sunday

Hetfield showing some Metal!

Hetfield showing some Metal!

To put an interesting spin on music and sports, I’m going to pick the top 3 Metallica songs of last nights show and relate them to football Sunday. You’re probably asking, how’s he going to do this and why? In fact, I’m hungover and I’m winging it. Are you with me?!?! Well who needs you. Anyways, we attended the Metallica show at the Garden in Boston last night. I was flashing my metal sign all night until I Romo’d my pinkie on a sloppy hand pound. Val asked people if they knew for whom the bell tolled, Shannon raved about metal hair and conditioner and Casey just demanded one more song…as she broke into SAN-I-TARIUM. We got hammered while we seeked and destroyed the luxury box. Metallica still kicks ass and busted out a super long set.

You could say they resembled a healthy Kurt “The Cardinal” Warner in these playoffs. The resurgence of the decade with this guy and the hand of God he possesses. Not to mention the emergence of Larry Fitzgerald as the NFL’s top receiver in these playoffs and probably the league.
Pittsburgh’s defense held it’s own against a rookie flaccid Flacco who ended his playoff run with a 40-yard Polamalu pick-six. Big Ben stood strong and maneuvered well making big plays on the run. With the Super Bowl in 2 weeks, they have a chance to win their second Lombardi this decade.

Kurt Warner

Kurt Warner

Onto the music:

Sad But True — Let’s dedicate this one to Donovan Mcnabb. He gets so close, but again so far away. Mcnabb played a great third quarter but struggled the rest of the game. Will he ever get over the hump? Another playoff run where he can’t get it done, you know it’s sad but true.

Nothing Else Matters — I mean the song has Super Bowl team written all over it. “Trust I seek and I find in you/Every day for us something new/ Open mind for a different view/and nothing else matters.” Like a QB to his offensive line, Linebacker to his defense…just win! That was my emotional attempt.

One — Arizona vs Pittsburgh, Warner vs Ben, one more game, one more win. One day of stuffing your face and drinking while you place prop bets and pray for squares. Who will live the dream “I can’t remember anything/Can’t tell if this is true or dream.” Who’s going to Disneyland, riding the tower of terror and throwing up on Donald Duck. There can only be one!

Throw up some metal!
RaginRondo

January 19, 2009 Posted by | NFL, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Straight Cash’s Divisional Playoff Picks

There are some juicy, juicy matchups this weekend. Lots of top defenses showcased, a wild gun show on display in the South, and a good old NFC East hatefest. Let’s get it on.

Do the dance, Ray, do the dance.

Do the dance, Ray, do the dance.

Baltimore Ravens at Tennessee Titans, 01/10/09, 4:30pm EST, CBS
Line/Total: TEN -3, o/u 34

The Pick: BAL +3

Everyone’s saying that a rookie QB like Flacco will fold against Tennessee’s punishing front, but New Guy Joe gets to see this type of “D” everyday in practice. The Titans won back in Week 5 (13-10) in a grind it out, defensive battle, but I think the difference this time is the improved play and confidence of Flacco and the growth of Le’Ron McClain as a legitimate back to pair with Willis McGahee. Kerry Collins, LenDale White and Chris Johnson are stabling forces for the Titans, but the loss of Kevin Mawae under center will play a big role at the line. To me, it just seems like the Ravens D is jacked entering the postseason, led by All-world hawk Ed Reed. No doubt, Tennessee is still one of the top 3 defenses in the league, I just don’t think they have enough weapons offensively to put up points. The Ravens will keep it close and may win outright — lots of penalties, trash talking and clock running in this one.

My name is not pronounced Del-Homey

My name is not pronounced Del-Homey

Arizona Cardinals at Carolina Panthers, 01/10/09, 8:15pm EST, FOX
Line/Total: CAR -10, o/u 49

The Pick: Over 49

I’m riding the Arizona “over” train until it falls off the tracks. This team cannot cover anyone and Kurt Warner must try to outgun each opponent they face. And why not? with both NFC Pro Bowl WR starters at his disposal in Boldin and Fitzgerald, could you blame him. Carolina has found gold in their backfield tandem of DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart. And of course, Steve Smith is a game changer. Need some numbers? The two teams combined for 50 in a 27-23 Panthers win in Week 8. The over is 7-2 in Arizona’s and Carolina’s last 9 games. Carolina has given up an average of 25 points in that span, and Arizona 29.5. It’s Jake Delhomme’s 33rd birthday Saturday and his wish of a Carolina win will come to fruition, just not sure it’s by the 10 points Vegas is projecting them by. So take the over, sit back on the Lazy Boy and watch some fireworks in the Bank of America Dome.

Don't do the dance, Donovan, don't do the dance.

Don't do the dance, Donovan, don't do the dance.

Philadelphia Eagles at New York Giants, 01/11/09, 1:00pm EST FOX
Line/Total: NYG -4, o/u 38

The Pick: NYG -4

The Eagles are playing excellent ball at the right time. The Donovan McNabb Hall of Fame talk has resurfaced. Philly’s defense has been dynamic with Johnson at the helm. I’m still taking the Giants to win and cover. A few reasons why: 1) They’re at home. 2) Eli has more weapons to pass to than Donovan. 3) Brandon “Frankenstein” Jacobs is at full force. 4) The 3-headed monster that is Jacobs-Ward-Bradshaw is more effective than a nicked up Westbrook and Buckhalter. 5) The Meadowlands field will be slick and there’s a 90% chance of snowfall/rain, which bodes well for the Giants ground attack. 6) The Giants have been there, done that, and coach Coughlin has had an extra week to prep the troops. And finally, 7) Those two “MENSA” candidates Andy Reid and McNabb will find a way to implode on the big stage. ‘Nuff said.

Now if I could just "PLAY like a champion" on Sunday.

Now if I could just "PLAY like a champion" on Sunday.

San Diego Chargers at Pittsburgh Steelers, 01/11/09, 4:45pm EST, CBS
Line/Total: PIT -6, o/u 37.5

The Pick: PIT -6

I still don’t believe in Philip Rivers. While everyone waxes poetic about his natural ability and competitiveness, I still think he’s just a gunslinger who lacks the leadership quality (charisma) to inspire his team. That said, the Steelers will bring the pressure in waves at the Chargers, and Rivers will have to get rid of the ball quicker than he’s used to. Darren Sproles has to be ready to catch short dinks from the backfield ala LaDainian Tomlinson, while Gates must push hard off the line for SD to be effective. Now, what concerns me for Pittsburgh is the offensive side of the ball. Big Ben is holding on to the ball longer than he should be, resulting in multiple sack games, while the deep threat in Santonio Holmes has been nullified throughout the year. Look for the Steelers to give the Chargers a big dose of Fast Willie Parker and Mewelde Moore. The -6 points from Vegas is pretty steep, but the Steelers have gotten all the breaks of late and it’ll be a game-changing turnover (maybe by the wavy-haired Samoan) that’ll put the Steelers over the top. Also, that same competitiveness that Rivers is lauded for will be his undoing as he’ll attempt some unnecessary deep throws into the Pittsburgh’s secondary. The only thing that worries me is Big Ben’s bell being rung to the tune of another concussion.

Went 3-1 in last weekend’s Wild Card matchups. Let’s keep up the good vibes.

2009 record: 5-2.

Straight Cash … Homey!

January 10, 2009 Posted by | General, NFL, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Straight Cash’s Wild Card Weekend Picks

This NFL Wild Card weekend will have dirty birds, rookie QBs, MVPs, All-Days, Burners, Bolts and Colts. It also features all 4 home teams as underdogs — first time I’ve ever seen that. Let’s get to the picks. Short and sweet.

Dreaming of days with Martz and Faulk

Dreaming of days with Martz and Faulk

Atlanta Falcons at Arizona Cardinals, 4:30pm EST, NBC
Line/Total: ATL -2, o/u 51

The pick: Over 51

It’ll be a shootout in the desert. The Falcons will score points because the Cardinals are 0-6 against teams who were in the top 10 in rushing (the Falcons are ranked #2 behind the Giants). Then, after a steady diet of Mike Turner and Jerious Norwood, Matt Ryan will open up the field against Arizona’s 22nd ranked pass D. On the other side, Arizona will take to the air because they are dead last in rushing, and so we’ll see the Kurt Warner show against Atlanta’s very shaky secondary. This game may also get messy with the presence of John Abraham and his 16.5 sacks. Though a lot of things point to an Atlanta win, you cannot count out Captain Kurt at home. He will go down chucking the ball to his talented trio of receivers, and if he misses, well that’s just better field position for the dirty birds. One big stat: the over is 9-1 in Arizona’s last 10 home games.

Will Peyton take it lying down?

Will Peyton take it lying down?

Indianapolis Colts at San Diego Chargers, 8:00pm EST, NBC
Line/Total: IND -1, o/u 50

The pick: IND -1

The Chargers may be on a roll with 4 wins in a row to close the season, but if you look closely they were against the doormat Chiefs, lowly Raiders, and self-destructing Broncos and Bucs teams. The Colts are riding a 9-win wave themselves with quality victories over the Steelers, Patriots and a 23-20 Week 12 win over the Chargers at Qualcomm. In this matchup of two premier QBs, I’ll take Indy’s 6th ranked pass D over the 31st ranked San Diego pass D (only the Seahawks were worse). It will be close throughout, but look for the Colts to slow this game down, and finish with a vintage Peyton Manning, long, drawn-out, antsy, multi-audible, drive.

Will Ed Reed touch the ball more than Ricky Williams?

Will Ed Reed touch the ball more than Ricky Williams?

Baltimore Orioles at Miami Dolphins, 1:00pm EST, CBS
Line/Total: BAL -3, o/u 38

The pick: BAL -3

Baltimore’s D will be too much for Pennington and Miami. In their 27-13 Week 7 win over the Dolphins, the Ravens stopped the vaunted Wildcat offense allowing only 71 rush yards and forcing a pick 6 courtesy of Terrell Suggs. Look for Baltimore to bring the same defensive gameplan and challenge Pennington to go deep (not his strength) where my pick for Defensive Player of the Year, Mr. Ed Reed (and his 9 INTs), will be waiting. All rookie QB Joe Flacco has to do is his best Kerry Collins imitation and take care of the ball and make simple, low risk plays, and leave the rest to Ray Lewis, Bart Scott, Suggs and company. The Dolphins’ and Pennington’s comeback story has been inspiring this year, but it ends this weekend.

A little help on "O" please

A little help on "O" please

Philadelphia Eagles at Minnesota Vikings, 4:30pm EST, FOX
Line/Total: PHI -2, o/u 41

The pick: PHI -2

If the Eagles were facing any other NFC playoff team, I might think twice about picking them because of their inconsistency and much too frequent brain farts. But against the one-dimensional Vikes, it makes it easy for D-guru Jim Johnson to scheme up ways to stop Adrian Peterson and expose the Vikings passing game. Yes, Minnesota has the top-ranked rush defense, but Philadelphia isn’t too shabby at #5. The difference is that Philly has a very efficient McNabb, who’s making the right reads of late. Also, the Eagles 3rd ranked pass defense will feast on Minny’s 25th ranked pass offense. Nothing else here other than the Eagles secondary has been swarming, and if any bit of the intensity brought against Dallas shows up, it’ll be a long day for Tavaris Jackson. Hopefully, we don’t get any of this on the sidelines.

USC’s KO of Penn State started the year off right. Straight Cash record for 2009: 1-0

Good Luck everyone.

January 3, 2009 Posted by | General, NFL, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments