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Rickey Henderson – Hall of Fame Linguist

Part Cobb, Part Satre

Part Cobb, Part Satre

The 2009 MLB Hall of Fame class will be announced later today and one thing is for certain; Mr. Rickey Henderson’s name will be announced.  Thank the heavens.  The numbers don’t lie.  First in all-time runs.  First in all-time steals.  First in leadoff homers.  First in third person references.  Before Rickey, the word “I” was the most common word used by athletes.   Now the time has come to salute Rickey.

Without Rickey’s groundbreaking reconstruction of the English language by means of shunning the first person where would the sports world be?  Bo Jackson would have just been a stuttering bull from the Deep South had Rickey not paved the way.  Manny Being Manny?  Rickey Being Rickey is the only “being” that matters.  Put all of the on-the-field excellence Rickey exuded aside and ponder how it really feels when someone you’re speaking to refers to themself in the third person.  It’s quite odd, and furthermore, it’s a little intimidating.  When a person answers a question in the third person it completely removes the question asker from the conversation.  Thus, it is no longer a conversation, but instead a monologue of the most disassociated sense.  Example: “How’ve you been?”  “FlyMaster’s been working on his type speed and FlyMaster’s font choices are improving.”  See, that just sounds cool, yet removed.

Rickey’s gifts to our cultural lexicon do not end with his mastery of the third.  No, he also made the non sequitor, the double entendre, malapropisms, and syllogistic arguments forms of art.  From standing in his New York condo and saying he could see the “Entire State Building,” to telling the A’s “if you want to pay me like Mike Gallego, I’ll play like Mike Gallego,” Rickey channeled the best of Ty Cobb and Jean-Paul Satre.  A philospher capable of creating poignancy from simplicity.  Who can’t appreciate a man who would stand in front of the mirror, nude and repeating “Rickey’s the best” for several minutes with the asceticism of St. Augustine before games.  That, my friends is a higher calling.  Rickey’s philosophical genius bears itself in his reaction to becoming Nolan Ryan’s 5,000th strikeout victim.  After fanning Rickey said “Ryan just blew it by me, but it’s an honor….Rickey will have another paragraph in the baseball books….Rickey already is in there three or four times.”  Genius, plain and simple. 

Here’s to the greatest leadoff player in history, the first left fielder to be inducted since Yaz, the man who could not recognize John Olerud after playing with him on two teams, and the “symbol of great base stealing.”  All hail Rickey.  Rickey hail Rickey.  FlyMaster can’t wait for the Hall of Fame speech.

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!

January 12, 2009 Posted by | Features & Opinions, Major League Baseball, Talkin Trash | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mahk Ta-Share-ah to sign with the Red Sox?!?!

Teixera to sign with Red Sox?!?!

Teixera to sign with Red Sox?!?!

Say it with me Bostonians…Mahk Ta-Share-ah. Yes it could be true. Sources from Sons of Simmons blog have claimed that the free agent first baseman has agreed in principle to an eight-year deal for what is said to be around 170 million dollars. The slugger has been the topic of hot stove discussions with several teams reaching and battling it out to acquire Teixera. An opt-clause was not included in the deal but once again nothing has been confirmed as of yet. Hopefully he can decide sooner than later so these discussions and waiting come to an end. Having Boras as an agent definitely extends the process but will most likely land him a whopping contract. Ta-share-ah batted .308 with 33 HR’s and 121 RBI’s last season.

Now the addition of Teixera to the Sox will definitely add more power to the lineup and another all-star first baseman. He will most likely be batting between Big Papi and Youkilis in the cleanup spot. This will surely solidify a scary batting order for all American League pitching. Personally I will be happy that the drama will be over and extremely happy if the Sox win the bidding war negotiations. But with the addition, this assures the Evil Empire of making a move to acquire good friend Manny Ramirez. If you want drama you got it here. Money ain’t a thing in New York and with a new stadium and boatloads of revenue coming in, you better believe they will grab him. Talk about adding to the rivalry, Manny being Money and another star in Teixera bagged by big money baseball.
For now, this is all speculation but we will follow up as things progress. Hot stove…burning up!


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December 22, 2008 Posted by | Major League Baseball, Uncategorized | , , , , , | 1 Comment