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Various Sports Mutterings from Sportsfly.com!

George W. Bush Ruined Baseball

Right Back At You Buddy!

Right Back At You Buddy!

The steroid ship sailed for me about four years ago.  At that point, I dropped my Bob Costas “For the Love of the Game” naivete and began thinking anyone in the game could have been a user.  No discrimination, no hesitation.  I viewed steroids and PED’s in baseball in the same way I viewed cocaine use in the mid-1970s.  Everyone was doing it, so don’t judge individuals.  Instead judge the era.  The latest A-Rod information isn’t such a big deal except for people who still thought of A-Rod as the savior who was going to erase the villainous Barry Bonds from the National Pastime’s ledger.  Well, too bad, and you folks who villify Bonds had better start spreading the hate around. 

 

From day one, Barry Bonds has been the prime target.  Even Clemens, McGwire, Palmeiro, and Sosa have gotten treated with kid gloves compared to Barry Lamar.  Now Barry’s buddy A-Rod should share some heat.  But, instead of spreading the heat I suggest going to the source.  The source, you ask?  The source is one George Walker Bush.  Liberal cynicism?  Nope.  Kicking the cowboy while he’s down?  Nope.  Think about it.  Who stood up in front of the nation and gave Major League Baseball the come to Jesus talk as a part of the State of the Union address?  It was one, George Walker Bush.  Yet, which organization was at the forefront of steroid use when the era began in the mid-1990s?  The Texas Rangers.  Who was running the Texas Rangers at the time Canseco, Juan Gone, and Raffy Palmeiro were sticking each other in the booty?  That’s right, George Walker Bush.  Bush’s political legacy will take generations and gallons of “white out” to fix.  His social legacy needs to suffer as well.  How is the guy who “cowboyed” up to hunt down drugs in baseball going to be the actual source of the problem?  That shows how ridiculous this issue is.  The steroid ship has sailed.  Let’s sink it at sea and just admit that baseball has been screwed up for a long time.  Stop this damn posturing about who gets into the Hall of Fame.  If cats from this tainted era have the numbers, put them in the Hall.  Don’t sit there and not vote for McGwire because he didn’t say anything.  Do you want a Hall of Fame filled with Melky Cabrera’s and Steve Finley’s?  Vote for McGwire.  Vote for Bonds.  Vote for A-Rod.  But first vote for Pete Rose.  If not, the Hall will end up looking lamer than it already does.

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!

 

February 9, 2009 Posted by | Major League Baseball, Talkin Trash | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mark McGwire’s Brother is a Rat

 

Beat Your Brothers Ass!

Beat Your Brother's Ass!

Mark McGwire did steroids.  We know this.  This isn’t a big deal anymore.  Silence is admission of guilt, and when was the last time you heard Mark McGwire speak?  That’s right, it was when he pleaded the fifth like a Chappelle’s show skit.  Well, in a story that’s about as tired and used up as a hooker at a 1994 house party at Michael Irvin’s house, Mark McGwire’s younger brother Jay is making headlines (more like footnotes) with a proposed book that details brother Mark’s steroid use.  Big whoopty-do.  It should be noted that Jay and Mark are estranged and Jay claims that he introduced Mark to ‘roids after Mark saw Jay win a bodybuilding contest.  Jay’s looking for a payday and that’s where the FlyMaster’s ire gets raised.

Assaults on filial piety, the sanctity of the family, and sibling bonds are the lowest of the low.  Rats are dealt with pretty severely in prison, and thus they should be karmically retributed against with the utmost impunity when they betray their family.  All families bicker, fight, become estranged, burn each other’s houses, beat each other’s puppies, but that all stays in the family.  That’s rule number one.  Jay McGwire broke the golden rules of being a family member and in his meager attempts to capitalize on his brother’s demons only make him a demon of higher caliber.  What’s next, Jay?  Are you going to rat out your other brother Dan, one of the worst NFL QB busts in the last 30 years, for being a hideously bad gunslinger who was a product of the San Diego State offense of the late 1980s?  You jerk

Please allow the FlyMaster to make an open statement to the FlySister.  FlySister, if you ever rat me out on all the ridiculously dumb, dimwitted, nefarious stuff the FlyMaster is responsible for the FlyMaster will find you.  Find you he will.  However, if you choose to write some memoir of FlyMaster’s foibles please ask for more than $100K, although I doubt you’d receive more than $4 bucks, a six pack of Pabst, and some gummy bears.  But, on the real side, the FlySister understands this agreement as an unsaid code of siblings.  That’s what makes Jay McGwire even more of a douchetard.  He didn’t even realize the idiocy and ignorance of his actions.  Remember people, nothing is more important than maintaining belief in your family members even if they’re a walking petri dish of HGH, horse testosterone, and cow urine.  Back acne and rages aside, he’s still your brother. 

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!

January 22, 2009 Posted by | Doping, Features & Opinions, General, Major League Baseball, Talkin Trash | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rickey Henderson – Hall of Fame Linguist

Part Cobb, Part Satre

Part Cobb, Part Satre

The 2009 MLB Hall of Fame class will be announced later today and one thing is for certain; Mr. Rickey Henderson’s name will be announced.  Thank the heavens.  The numbers don’t lie.  First in all-time runs.  First in all-time steals.  First in leadoff homers.  First in third person references.  Before Rickey, the word “I” was the most common word used by athletes.   Now the time has come to salute Rickey.

Without Rickey’s groundbreaking reconstruction of the English language by means of shunning the first person where would the sports world be?  Bo Jackson would have just been a stuttering bull from the Deep South had Rickey not paved the way.  Manny Being Manny?  Rickey Being Rickey is the only “being” that matters.  Put all of the on-the-field excellence Rickey exuded aside and ponder how it really feels when someone you’re speaking to refers to themself in the third person.  It’s quite odd, and furthermore, it’s a little intimidating.  When a person answers a question in the third person it completely removes the question asker from the conversation.  Thus, it is no longer a conversation, but instead a monologue of the most disassociated sense.  Example: “How’ve you been?”  “FlyMaster’s been working on his type speed and FlyMaster’s font choices are improving.”  See, that just sounds cool, yet removed.

Rickey’s gifts to our cultural lexicon do not end with his mastery of the third.  No, he also made the non sequitor, the double entendre, malapropisms, and syllogistic arguments forms of art.  From standing in his New York condo and saying he could see the “Entire State Building,” to telling the A’s “if you want to pay me like Mike Gallego, I’ll play like Mike Gallego,” Rickey channeled the best of Ty Cobb and Jean-Paul Satre.  A philospher capable of creating poignancy from simplicity.  Who can’t appreciate a man who would stand in front of the mirror, nude and repeating “Rickey’s the best” for several minutes with the asceticism of St. Augustine before games.  That, my friends is a higher calling.  Rickey’s philosophical genius bears itself in his reaction to becoming Nolan Ryan’s 5,000th strikeout victim.  After fanning Rickey said “Ryan just blew it by me, but it’s an honor….Rickey will have another paragraph in the baseball books….Rickey already is in there three or four times.”  Genius, plain and simple. 

Here’s to the greatest leadoff player in history, the first left fielder to be inducted since Yaz, the man who could not recognize John Olerud after playing with him on two teams, and the “symbol of great base stealing.”  All hail Rickey.  Rickey hail Rickey.  FlyMaster can’t wait for the Hall of Fame speech.

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!

January 12, 2009 Posted by | Features & Opinions, Major League Baseball, Talkin Trash | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

NFL Makes An MLB Move

Fresh off the most exciting final weekend in recent NFL history, the NFL brass couldn’t sit back and enjoy the success.  Nope, instead of congratulating themselves at Monday morning meetings and beginning the propaganda brigade for the postseason, the NFL announced that the 2010 Pro Bowl will be played in between the 2010 Conference Championships and the 2010 Super Bowl

Youre Better Than MLB

You're Better Than MLB

The NFL Pro Bowl is already the most irrelevant of all the all-star games because it is played after the season, many players don’t attend, and the games are more like glorified scrimmages, but moving it in between the Conference Championships and the Super Bowl isn’t going to fix anything. 

From a ratings and marketing perspective the new schedule will probably boost ratings slightly.  However, the problem with the schedule change will probably result in fewer high-caliber players attending.  For instance, what happens if 10 players from the teams participating in the 2010 Super Bowl are elected to the Pro Bowl?  Will their teams allow players to play in the Pro Bowl if they’re playing the Super Bowl the following week?  The answer is no way.  The Pro Bowl has constantly put the NFL in a bind, but it’s never been a hindrance.  Moving the Pro Bowl could make the Pro Bowl more of a nuisance than an anticlimactic end to the best seasonal sport around.  Instead of living with the inherent design flaws, the NFL put on it’s Bud Selig hat and decided to tinker.  Ask MLB how good tinkering works out.  From no salary cap, to all-star game foibles, to the PED problem, the MLB has mastered the art of amplifying  little problems into larger ones.  Note to Roger Goodell.  Take a look down Park Avenue at your friends at the MLB and don’t follow their lead.  Keep the NFL as is.  You’re doing just fine.  Or did you not watch the week 17 action?

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!

December 29, 2008 Posted by | Features & Opinions, General, NFL | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Recession? Don’t Tell The Yankees

The country’s infrastucture is collapsing.  Automakers are begging on Capitol Hill are begging like Oliver Twist.  We owe China and Japan rent.  Incomes are plummeting.  Layoffs are the new playoffs.  Crime rates are rising.  However, the Yankees still mustered $160 million to sign C.C. Sabathia.  That is the largest pitching contract in the history of the universe. 

Rich Getting Richer

Rich Getting Richer

The Yankees signing of Sabathia highlights everything that’s wrong with Major League Baseball.  In times when the economy is down only the richest of teams can subsist without worrying, and in fact the big 6 (Yankees, Red Sox, Mets, Cubs, Angels, and Dodgers) can take advantage of the times and make themselves richer, thus distancing themselves from the rest of the pack.  The Yankees now own the highest paid position player (A-Rod) and the highest paid pitcher (Sabathia).  Combine their salaries and you’ll see that the duo is worth more than the entire Royals roster.  That’s mind-blowing.  Here’s the kicker…the Yankees are getting NYC to build them a new house.  How’s that going down?  What do you think folks who live in Harlem, Washington Heights, and Brooklyn have to say about that?  The Yankees are the new Kennedy’s (see papa Joe’s business moves during the Depression), building their empire as the world is in shambles.   The imbalance of Major League Baseball parallels the imbalance of reality.

 

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!

December 10, 2008 Posted by | Features & Opinions, Major League Baseball, Talkin Trash | , , , , , | Leave a comment