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Mark McGwire’s Brother is a Rat

 

Beat Your Brothers Ass!

Beat Your Brother's Ass!

Mark McGwire did steroids.  We know this.  This isn’t a big deal anymore.  Silence is admission of guilt, and when was the last time you heard Mark McGwire speak?  That’s right, it was when he pleaded the fifth like a Chappelle’s show skit.  Well, in a story that’s about as tired and used up as a hooker at a 1994 house party at Michael Irvin’s house, Mark McGwire’s younger brother Jay is making headlines (more like footnotes) with a proposed book that details brother Mark’s steroid use.  Big whoopty-do.  It should be noted that Jay and Mark are estranged and Jay claims that he introduced Mark to ‘roids after Mark saw Jay win a bodybuilding contest.  Jay’s looking for a payday and that’s where the FlyMaster’s ire gets raised.

Assaults on filial piety, the sanctity of the family, and sibling bonds are the lowest of the low.  Rats are dealt with pretty severely in prison, and thus they should be karmically retributed against with the utmost impunity when they betray their family.  All families bicker, fight, become estranged, burn each other’s houses, beat each other’s puppies, but that all stays in the family.  That’s rule number one.  Jay McGwire broke the golden rules of being a family member and in his meager attempts to capitalize on his brother’s demons only make him a demon of higher caliber.  What’s next, Jay?  Are you going to rat out your other brother Dan, one of the worst NFL QB busts in the last 30 years, for being a hideously bad gunslinger who was a product of the San Diego State offense of the late 1980s?  You jerk

Please allow the FlyMaster to make an open statement to the FlySister.  FlySister, if you ever rat me out on all the ridiculously dumb, dimwitted, nefarious stuff the FlyMaster is responsible for the FlyMaster will find you.  Find you he will.  However, if you choose to write some memoir of FlyMaster’s foibles please ask for more than $100K, although I doubt you’d receive more than $4 bucks, a six pack of Pabst, and some gummy bears.  But, on the real side, the FlySister understands this agreement as an unsaid code of siblings.  That’s what makes Jay McGwire even more of a douchetard.  He didn’t even realize the idiocy and ignorance of his actions.  Remember people, nothing is more important than maintaining belief in your family members even if they’re a walking petri dish of HGH, horse testosterone, and cow urine.  Back acne and rages aside, he’s still your brother. 

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!

January 22, 2009 Posted by | Doping, Features & Opinions, General, Major League Baseball, Talkin Trash | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment