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Various Sports Mutterings from Sportsfly.com!

Los Angeles Clippers to Showcase a Desi Halftime Show for India’s Republic Day

Indias Republic Day   

India's Republic Day

Here’s a double whammy for me:

1. On January 26th, the Los Angeles Clippers will play the Portland Trail Blazers (at home).  I’ve got to get a hold of tickets so I can watch one team BLAZE another (in case you don’t understand which team I’m rooting for it’s the Blazers).

2. During halftime of that game, the Clippers will be celebrating India’s Republic day (not to be confused with its Independence Day).  If you’ve read any of my previous posts you already know that I’m an Indian American with the possibility of becoming a motel owner, 711 manager or taxi driver.  

No really though – This is great news!  To finally see cultural celebrations being recognized by mainstream Americans shows that our community is pushing in the right direction. What’s even more surprising is that it’s done through sports and not political actions.  Now I know the NBA is looking to spread its brand across South Asia and hopes this can provide publicity – But the fact that they are doing it is good enough for me (and most South Asians aren’t very tall so their publicity will only bring back 5’ 5” scrappy players who would face the Mutombo’s of basketball). 

Los Angeles Clippers
Los Angeles Clippers

As usual a portion of the proceeds from this event will benefit victims of the recent terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India.  If you’re looking to watch the game live you can buy discounted tickets from the Clippers’ NBA page. 

Skrybe – Keep it Fly

January 19, 2009 Posted by | Features & Opinions, NBA | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Candace Parker and Sheldon Williams to Expect a Baller Baby

Candace Parker of the Los Angeles Sparks – A WBNA team for those of you who aren’t equal opportunity ballers – Announced that she is expecting her first child this coming spring. Let me break down what this means: Candace Parker is a professional basketball player and was the no. 1 draft pick in 2008. Before she joined the Sparks, she was rockin’ the arena at University of Tennessee. Now she’ll be rockin’ a baby with her husband Sheldon Williams…Of the Sacramento Kings. If you still don’t get it, this means that their son or daughter will most likely be an INSANE baller.

Baby Dream Team

Baby Dream Team

If I was the son of two athletes I could’ve been the next Michael Jordan, Muhammad Ali, Tiger Woods, Pele…Whoever. Instead I’m the son of two Indian immigrants and will most likely become the next successful motel owner, taxi driver or 711 manager. If I’m lucky I may become a computer engineer or doctor, but that’s highly doubtful.

Parker was named Rookie of the Year and received MVP honors in addition to winning an Olympic gold medal and being named AP’s female athlete of the year. Sheldon was good enough to get drafted into the NBA, which means even if Parker can’t return to the WNBA after pregnancy, their hopes and dreams (more so lavish lifestyle) can still be picked up by their offspring. That kid is going to be ridiculous so get his autograph or thumb print ASAP.

Skrybe – Keep it Fly

January 7, 2009 Posted by | Features & Opinions, NBA | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Sir Charles Arrested Before Receiving Oral Sex

Charles Barkley

Charles Barkley

Hall of Famer and 11-time All Star, Charles Barkley was arrested last Wednesday for suspicion of driving under the influence. Lt. Eric Shuhandler, who handled Barkley’s arrest, stated he originally pulled him over because Barkley ran a stop sign. Later Lt. Shuhandler stated that Barkley reeked of alcohol and thus the arrest was made.

According to reports Barkley was on his way for late night pleasure – And by this I don’t mean slapping on some Right Guard and commentating on basketball. Barkley stated he was picking up a girl around the corner so she could perform oral sex on him. Apparently it’s the best he’s ever received. It’s no wonder D-Wade isn’t making his Fav. 5. Somebody hack into his phone and give me her number. She must be mind blowing if he’s willing to openly admit it while getting busted for driving under the influence.

To add to his stupidity, Barkley offered to tattoo a cop’s name on his @$ if he could get off the hook. Why would anyone want their name tattooed on Barkley’s ass of all people? Did he really think it was going to help solve his problems? Sorry buddy, you won’t ever become governor of Alabama at this rate. You have to be elected into office first, then you can get caught for getting head and it may not matter. Also, why is he driving a 2005 Infiniti? Isn’t he ballin’ enough to have upgraded by now? Next time your car is on the news, make sure its nice.


Skrybe – Keep it Fly

January 5, 2009 Posted by | Features & Opinions, NBA | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tips to get Your Girl to Watch Sports in 2009

As the year ends, sports viewership continues to rise. With classic moments such as:

-Basketball Rivals Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers Go Head-to-Head
-New York Giants Stomp Unbeaten New England Patriots in the Superbowl
-Nadal Defeats Federer in Five Sets
-Michael Phelps Drowns Swimmers with 8 Medals

Green Bay Packers Sports Fan

Green Bay Packers Sports Fan

Who wouldn’t have wanted to watch male-testosterone, competition based events with sweat, anger and adrenaline? Your significant other you say…? Well, if you missed out on 2008’s greatest moments, you may want to make sure the love of your life is ready for 2009. You sacrificed enough if you missed ANY of the above mentions. Do not let yourself get trapped into the ballet, babysitting or watching chick flicks like Mean Girls.

Follow the steps below and you just might catch some action on the tube…Or live if you’re lucky. Hell, you may even get to go to a Superbowl party early next year if you take this matter seriously.

Barter with Her:
You’re always forced into doing things with her, why can’t she reciprocate? Tighten your belt and voice your thoughts. Spend an evening with her going shopping so she can spend a day with you watching a game. If that doesn’t work, beg to do housework.

Keep Her Comfortable:
If bartering was tough, chances are she’s going to need a lot of time to warm up to the concept of competition. This isn’t drama to see which girl can outdo the other in b*tch@$ness, this is the result of gladiators hard at work. For her first few viewings, make sure you’re in a quiet setting so her ears aren’t pounding from raging drunken men at bars. Allow her to chill and learn the game – Yes, this means you have to explain it to her. Not ideal, but at least she’s open to it now.

Remind Her It’s Quality Time:
Whether you’re watching the game or getting pedicures, in the end it’s quality time that matters. Assure her that you’re not just into the game (even if you are) and that you would like the best of both worlds…As would she.

Watch Eye Candy Sports:
Let’s face it, women love fantasizing about men just as much as we love wet dreams of XXX models – The only difference is their fantasies are more likely to happen. Ask your significant other who she’s fond of and watch that athlete’s games. David Beckham? Tom Brady? Kobe Bryant? Let her watch him as you watch the rest of them. She may be watching for a completely different reason, but hey, at least she’s shut up and allowing you to do your thing.

Develop Emotional Ties:
Did she go to a college with a good athletics program? Is she passionate about her hometown or residential city? Let her get attached to the teams so she wants to watch them play.

Play with Her:
Toss the ball around and teach her the skills needed to play the game. She just may understand what its all about and join in the fun. She might even become your cheerleader for when you play pick up games.

Buy Her Gear:
Be sure to buy her team attire. It’s a whole different ball game for a fan when they’re representing a team. Buy her a cute jersey, sweatshirt or better yet a thong with her favorite team’s logo. Who knows what the excitement could lead to…

Good luck and Happy New Year in advance!


Skrybe – Keep it Fly

December 30, 2008 Posted by | College Basketball, College Football, Features & Opinions, General, NBA, NFL, Olympic Sports, Soccer | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wild Card Playoff Picture

Does Peyton have what it takes to make a playoff run??

Does Peyton have what it takes to make a playoff run??

The NFL Playoffs start this weekend and I’m more excited to watch the postseason unfold than I was for my high school prom. Mainly because I love football, but also because my prom date looked like Marshawn Lynch.

Now, the StatDragon isn’t one for tooting his own horn, but he’s not one to let his genius be overlooked either. Last year I predicted correctly on 8 of the 11 postseason games, including a NY Giant Super Bowl birth (I was embarrassed to have wrongly predicted the Pats as Super Bowl Champs).

Lets take a look at the wild card match ups this weekend:

#5 Indianapolis Colts @ #4 San Diego Chargers (AFC)

 

I used to be scared of LaDainian Tomlinson. Now I’m scared of anyone coming out of that backfield. Darren Sproles has added a lot to the offense in attempts to relieve LT and keep fresh legs out on the field and the Colts run defense is (capitol W) WEAK. However, the Colts are riding a hot streak with 2 months of consecutive wins in their back pocket. I can’t think of any other quarterback that I’d least like to face in the post season than Peyton Manning (yes, over Tom Brady). And keep this in mind; although there are questions regarding the Colts defense, they rank 8 better than they did the season they won the Super Bowl. StatDragon takes the Colts in this matchup, and likes the potential of longevity for them in the postseason.

#6 Baltimore Ravens @ #3 Miami Dolphins (AFC)

 

Don’t let the rankings fool you here. These teams share the same regular season record and are relatively, closely matched. While Miami has the home field advantage and a tricky ‘wildcat formation’ to boot, they only rank 12th in the league in offense this year, and 15th in defense. The Ravens will come into Miami with a hard-nosed 2nd ranked defense and (mediocre) 18th ranked O. Because I found myself so baffled regarding the Dolphins improvement this year I did some research. In the NFL a win is a win. However, I noticed that 7 of the Dolphin’s 11 wins were over teams that posted a .500 record or less. They also lost 2 out of 3 games to teams currently in the post season. Meanwhile 3 of the 5 losses that the Ravens suffered were by a margin of 4 points or less to Goliath teams (Pittsburgh and Tennessee). StatDragon takes the Ravens in this matchup…just look at the facts.

#5 Atlanta Falcons @ #4 Arizona Cardinals (NFC)

 

I would have bet my life savings before the season started that Atlanta would not play in the post season. I’m glad I didn’t. StatDragon takes the Falcons in this match up for the same reasons that he likes the Ravens. The Falcons consistently played and beat better teams this season than the Cardinals have. Atlanta proves that their place in the playoffs is well deserved with wins over Carolina, Minnesota and San Diego. Although Arizona has an impressive ariel attack with threatening wide receivers, they were one loss away (to the 49ers) from not playing in this game.

#6 Philadelphia Eagles @ #3 Minnesota Vikings (NFC)

 

 Let’s just put it out there. There’s no way the StatDragon is going to predict ALL upsets this week, right? Well, let me tell you something. I don’t believe in ‘upsets’ in the Wild Card round of NFL playoffs. So yes, I’m predicting Philly to take this game. Although McNabb has had as rough of a time this year as Lindsay Lohan, the Eagles come into the postseason with experience and the fire off a recent winning streak. Although the Vikings support a highly touted rush defense, Philly is right behind them ranked at 4th in the league and have managed a better pass defense than the Minnesota Vikings this season. Undeniably, Adrian Peterson is a monster in the backfield, but I really love Brian Westbrook when it comes to the clutch. I have a feeling that this game is the closest to a blowout (if there is one) favoring the Eagles.

Stop by the SportsFly Blog next week, as StatDragon corrects his mistakes from this week and looks into the Divisional Playoff Matchups.

December 30, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dead Fish Handshakes and New England Heartbreaks

Better luck in '09 Bill, Love Eric.

Better luck in '09 Bill, Love Eric.

After two years of bitter resentment and an epic rivalry of bad blood, Eric Mangini found a way to keep hated rivals, the New England Patriots, out of the playoffs. In doing so he lost to the Miami Dolphins…and consequently his own job. The former 1-15 Dolphins were able to extend their record to 11-5 and inch above New England to take the AFC East title.

This isn’t another one of StatDrgon’s conspiracy theories. I’m not proposing that the Jets “threw” the game to keep New England out of the playoffs, but I’d like to remark on the incredible coincidence that the future of the Patriots’ season fell to the hands of the New York Jets and Eric Mangini. Essentially, all that New England needed on Sunday was a victory from the Jets. Unfortunately (for New England) the Jets were not able to provide a win for their northeast rivals.

The name Eric Mangini makes Patriots fans shutter. To understand fully, one must be familiar with the history of ill will between the two organizations.

After 5 seasons of coaching with Belichick and the Patriots (2000-2005), Mangini left to take head-coaching position with the Jets. The terms and way that Mangini left sparked a rivalry between the two coaches. Over the next year New England filed tampering charges against Mangini for soliciting (then) current players and assistant coaches to abandon their commitment to the Pats organization and join him in New York. The feud came to a culmination in 2007 when, amidst of a perfect season, the Patriots were accused of videotaping other teams defensive signals. New England was reprimanded $750,000 in fines and the forfeiture of a 1st round draft selection for the following year. The incident, known infamously as ‘Spygate,’ sparked the criticism and condemnation of the Patriots organization and brought up questions of illegitimacy regarding three previous Championship seasons. Eric Mangini was the advocate and spokesman for accusations against Belichick in Spygate 2007. The actions taken by Eric Mangini, at this time, exacerbated the discord between himself and the New England Patriots.

When Tom Brady (QB- New England) went down for the season this year, Mangini must have felt like a kid on Christmas day as the window to the AFC East Title was opened. The Jets posted some significant victories throughout the first half of the season, beating the Patriots in overtime as well as handing the (pre)undefeated Titans a first loss. However, the season fell apart and all hopes of a playoff run were demolished as the Jets lost 4 out of the 5 final season games.

By Sunday the Jets were mathematically eliminated from the post season, however, the game against Miami was significant for Mangini in order to prove worth to the Jets organization. He was not able to do so as the Jets faltered 17-24.

This morning the New York Jets announced that they would be letting Coach Mangini go.

Had Mangini nothing to ‘play for’ yesterday, I would have been sold that losing was a tactic to keep the Pats out of the playoffs and prove dominance over hated rival Belichick.

As rivalry proves to be the driving force for creating exciting drama in sports, I can only hope that Eric Mangini finds a new job where he can effectively crawl under Belichick’s skin again, and vice versa. I would be beside myself with grief if I were not able to witness dead fish handshakes for years to come.

And that’s what the StatDragon is breathing fire about!

December 29, 2008 Posted by | Fantasy Football, News, NFL, Talkin Trash | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

That’s the Way they Became the Brady Bunch

It’s over – For those of you who thought Tom and Gisele would eventually part ways, it’s not going to happen.  According to several reports and TMZ, Patriots QB Tom Brady proposed to supermodel Gisele Bundchen while flying a private jet on Christmas Eve. 

They were headed from New Jersey to Massachusetts with four dozen white roses, champagne and two Brazilian parents on board.  Tom asked if she would join the Brady Bunch (not in those exact words)…And well…The rest is a common man’s nightmare.  Not that any of us would stand a chance, but the mere hope of seeing her on the market has now vanished.  Dreams have been tainted.  Fantasies have been exploited. 

Usually we don’t see athletes seriously settling down, but this was a good look for Brady.  The woman happens to be a tall, Victoria Secret supermodel with the ability to rake in $30-some million annually.  Compare that to Brady’s $18 million, and you’ve got yourself a bonafide b*tch.  One that wears the pants and is quoted as being the world’s richest supermodel.   

Power couples usually don’t last (i.e. Madonna/Guy Ritchie) but I’m giving this one a lifetime.  Brady doesn’t seem like your typical athlete sprung off women and Gisele’s got that Brazilian culture on lock.  But since many of you will be reading this and saying “what the f*ck is wrong with you?” and “Explain her sense of culture when it came to posing half nude”, I’d like to know how long you think it’ll be before sh*t hits the fan.

Skrybe – Keep it Fly

I assumed youd rather look at Gisele than Both Gisele and Tom or just Tom.

I assumed you'd rather look at Gisele than Both Gisele and Tom or just Tom.

December 29, 2008 Posted by | Features & Opinions, NFL | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

All Hail King James

King James

King James

With about one minute remaining, Yao Ming attempts a layup to help the Rockets but instead is trampled by the quick jump and defensive block of Lebron James. The ticker eventually counts down and the Cavs claim victory…This was the outcome of yesterday’s heated matchup between the Houston Rockets and Cleveland Cavaliers.

After watching the game, reviewing the highlights and reading the articles, there’s no doubt in my mind that Lebron James has superseded most NBA legends. Sure Michael Jordan tops the list, but he’s the Zeus of basketball. Michael’s on the same pedestal as Leonardo da Vinci for painting, Will Smith for bankable box office hits, Tupac Shakur for rap and perhaps Mother Teresa for volunteerism. Putting him aside, how often do you hear about Hakeem Olajuwon, Patrick Ewing, Larry Bird, Clyde Drexler, or Magic Johnson? In fact, fans from the Kobe and Lebron era probably don’t even know Magic’s real name is Earvin.

Just watch Lebron play one game. You’ll notice his dedication and passion for the sport we love to watch. But even more so than dedication and passion is the skill set he runs with while on court. In yesterday’s game for example, King James led all scorers with 27 points, provided 9 rebounds, 3 steals and one over-the-top block on the Great Wall of China – Yao Ming.

One game you say…? Then explain his ability to lead a team past all but the Celtics and Lakers this year. Or the fact that if it wasn’t for him, the Cavs wouldn’t be only team to remain undefeated at home. Let’s take it one step further and question whether or not the Cavs would’ve made it to the Finals in 2007 if he wasn’t on the roster. Lebron has provided a lot to the franchise and even more to the NBA.

It giddies me like a lil’ girl about to play spin the bottle when I see him powder himself up before entering the court. I become more anxious than Genuwine and can’t wait to see fireworks!

Skrybe – Keep it Fly

December 24, 2008 Posted by | Features & Opinions, NBA | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

No Fun League Charges for Snowball Fight

When the NFL warns you about fan contact at the beginning of the season – Do your team a favor and listen. New York Jets defensive end Shaun Ellis was hit with a $10,000 fine after throwing snow at Seattle fans last Sunday. Though I don’t blame him, I would’ve thrown snow at pesky fans as well if I was being aimed at like a pop can.

Seattle Winter Storm

Seattle Winter Storm

Here’s the breakdown: Over the course of the game, Seattle fans threw snowballs at Jets players and even more so once they defeated them 13-3. There was no intervention by security to oversee the safety of athletes and the snow they were throwing was rock solid. Trust me, I’m in the Northwest for the holidays and falling on your @$$ isn’t like landing on a waterbed…Imagine snow pellets coming at your face like shoes in an Iraqi conference with GW.

So if hundreds of fans are throwing snow at you, would you not play along? Apparently you shouldn’t. Ellis thought it was fun and games returning snowballs while walking into the locker room, but the NFL said a crowd-controlling action such as that posed potential injury to fans and should’ve been avoided.

What about the safety of NFL players? It’s several fans vs. one player and you’re worried about their safety? I would’ve gone to the locker room, changed and comeback with yellow snow to throw. If anything, the NFL should question why security didn’t intervene and stop fans from throwing balls. Were they all just happy that they won their fourth game? ‘Cuz winning four games isn’t going to do much for their team. You didn’t win the Superbowl, let alone make playoffs.

Skrybe – Keep it Fly

December 23, 2008 Posted by | Features & Opinions, NFL | , , , , | Leave a comment

No Fantasy This Holiday Season

The second to last week of December ushers in the Christmas season and prepares us for the New Year, new beginnings, and … the end of Fantasy Football. While most of the world runs around for last minute gifts, stocks up on cartoned nog, or indulges in taboo vices before they make fleeting resolutions, a large segment of the male population closes its doors to Fantasy Football. The 4 month long trudge through two-a-days of Yahoo/Fox updates and second-guessing Steve Slaton’s match-up against Carolina’s run D are over. Ladies, your men are back.

What the world really thinks

What the world really thinks

For 15 to 17 weeks, we are fixated on backup tight ends and whether Nate Kaeding will have more field goal attempts than John Carney. That season long digital trance is what I call the Fantasy Football Funk (FF Funk).

This FF Funk has many a symptom:

  • It causes guys to root against their home team (if indirectly) — “Man, I hope my Giants beat the Cowboys, but Eli throws 3 picks and fumbles twice, because I’m playing Stu this week.”
  • “Hellos” and “What’s ups” are no longer part of exchanges between buds, rather just straight to: “Fool, you’re stupid for starting LT.” or “Hey, you still got a chance on Monday night, IF Seneca Wallace throws for 6 scores against the Steelers.”
  • Guys outright avoid meeting up for drinks or pick-up hoop games for fear of said clowning (see above). Note: Poker night attendance suffers during the FF Funk season.
  • If exchanges are mutual, then we encounter 4-hour long discussions on gap-schemes and ball-hawking fullbacks. FF Funk guys become astrophysicists in these discussions with the eloquence and fervor of Deepak Chopra at a book signing.
  • Scores of bull rushes to nearby laptops and logins (ala those Southwest “ding” commercials) once ESPN News posts a blurb that Darren McFadden has a stinger, and so WE ALL have to get on the Justin Fargas train!! [insert Huggy Bear reference here].
  • The de-evolution of Fantasy League Commissioners (and I ran 2 of the 4 leagues I was in myself) into some hate-spewing control freak, reminding managers twice a week to pay their league fee and regurgitating the rules that are clearly posted.

I know there’s a bunch more FF Funk symptoms and irrational behavior, I just don’t have to time to list them since being free.

Time to refocus priorities

Time to refocus priorities

But there are a few good things that come out of the FF Funk, and that’s if you win your league, you get some straight cash homey. Or in my case, you have to explain to your wife (because Sundays are all booked up), the nuances and rules of football, because she wants to “relate”. This had a great effect though, because of our added “together time” on Sundays, she’s allowed me 20 extra minutes a week of surfing hot sites like this one. But that’s another story.

So we delete those Fantasy bookmarks, wave goodbye to NFL injury lists, say adios to pass defendeds and auf wiedersehen to 3rd string “sleeper” backs. And as we hear the kids sing carols, smell the evergreen wreaths, and wrap the fruitcake for the in-laws, we get back to what’s really important … betting on Bowl Games.

It’s good to have my life back. Peace out FF Funk.

Happy holidays!

December 23, 2008 Posted by | Fantasy Football, NFL | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment