STERIODS: Contrasting the NFL & MLB

This time last year, Hank Steinbrenner came out and stated that he didn’t “like baseball being singled out” when it came to the attention by media and congress over the steroids issue.  He later commented, “Everybody that knows sports knows football is tailor-made for performance-enhancing drugs.  I don’t know how they managed to skate by.  It irritates me.  Don’t tell me it’s not more prevalent.  The number in football is at least twice as many.  Look at the speed and size of those players.”

In the wake of A-Rod’s admittance of steroid use between 2001 and 2003, I do think it’s interesting to contrast why there seems to be a double standard between performance enhancing drugs in baseball and football.

A-Rod Admits His Guilt

I do think it is amazing that guys like Shawne Merriman and Rodney Harrison–two prominent defensive players in the NFL–can test positive for steroids/HGH and no one truly seem to care.  Do football fans not care about the integrity of the game?  Do fans and maybe even the media enable these players because they want to see brutal collisions on the field?

I do think, though, that there are a few differences between baseball and football in regards to this issue.  Harrison, and to some degree, Shawne Merriman, admitted that they were wrong.  They were willing to accept their penalties.  That doesn’t make what they did okay, but these players and others did not break NFL policy and continue to lie about it time after time.  They didn’t play the “he said, she said” game.

That’s not to say that some of the players in the MLB should admit guilt if they aren’t guilty.  But, at least in the court of public opinion, they all certainly aren’t innocent.  Barry Bonds?  Palmeiro?  Clemens? Maguire?  Sosa?   There is this “hush, hush” mentality among these big name players, and yet damning evidence mounts against them that would appear to seriously cloud their credibility.  With A-Rod stating that he did indeed take performance-enhancing drugs–after a 2007 interview with Katie Couric where he flatly denied this claim–an entire era of baseball has an enormous blemish on it.

Another distinct difference between baseball and football in regards to steroids is the actual benefit.  It is known that steroids can give you a boost in strength, muscle, and speed.  HGH, a substance that Rodney Harrison was found to be taking this time last year, is widely believed to aid in the recovery of injury.  When Harrison apparently took the drug, he was attempting to recover much quicker from an injury than he otherwise wouldn’t have been able to.  Again, this doesn’t justify his actions.

Harrison Tested Positive

But at the same time, we as fans cannot begin to fathom the wear and tear on one’s body that playing in the NFL induces.  There are former players that have a hard time going about their day due to massive injuries.  ESPN NFL analyst Mark Schlereth, a former offensive lineman, has admitted to having at least twenty knee surgeries.  And some former players even suffer from dementia due to the brutal sport of football.

Another issue is the impact steroids has on the game of baseball and football.  Baseball is much less of a team sport than football.  Essentially, baseball is a pitcher versus a batter.  If the pitcher is taking steroids which in turn allows him to throw the ball with a bit more velocity, that is an advantage.  If the batter is utilizing steroids to allow him to hit the ball further, that could potentially turn a double play into a home-run.  That is, most certainly, an advantage.

These factors decide games.

Can games really be decided by steroids in football, though?  Does steroids help you read a defense better?  Does steroids allow you to make every single tackle on the field?  Does steroids give you the drive to study film, decipher signals, or enhance your vision to see the hole?

Football is a team sport.  If one person–or for that matter, a few players–are using steroids on the offensive or defensive side of the ball, I am not convinced that that is an advantage.  It may make you a bit stronger.  It may make you a bit faster.  But, unlike baseball, I don’t think those benefits can make you and your team better.  I’ve seen guys come into the NFL who are complete physical specimens (Former number 1 overall pick in 2000, DE Courtney Brown, springs to mind), and yet could barely crack the starting lineup.

Courtney Brown: Looks Like Tarzan, Plays Like Jane

Guys who are the strongest and fastest and yet their careers never take off due to injury, an inability to pick up the playbook, or a complete lack of heart.

Remember, you need the physical tools and talent in the NFL, but football is most certainly a mental game.  Akili Smith and Michael Vick could throw the ball out of the stadium and into oncoming traffic on the highway, yet they were both mediocre quarterbacks.

Smith Didn't Work Out for the Bengals

I am not saying that players cannot and do not benefit from steroids in the NFL.  In 2006, when Merriman was suspended four games for steroids, he still racked up 17 sacks in 12 games.  That is an incredible stat.  At the same time, in 2007, in just 15 games, Merriman still registered 12.5 sacks.  That is a very good total, still.  And while steroids may have contributed to Merriman being able to get around the corner and sack Peyton Manning a couple extra times, steroids absolutely cannot aid you if you bite on Manning’s play fake and he throws it over the top to Reggie Wayne for a touchdown.

Lastly, it cannot be forgotten that baseball is a numbers game.  Home runs, batting averages and bases stolen–it’s what baseball fans care about, from age 8 to 80.

Quick, name me how many yards Emmitt Smith gained in his career?  How many touchdowns did Jerry Rice retire with?  How many sacks did Reggie White have?  How many consecutive games has Brett Favre played?

Even the most die-hard NFL fan would be hard pressed to answer those questions.

Yes, baseball is about the numbers, and if a player is on steroids and has a chance to balloon his numbers into the stratosphere, that is something that the common baseball fan can’t stand.  No one wants someone to eclipse Hank Aaron or Babe Ruth without knowing they did it the old natural way.

George W. Bush Ruined Baseball

Right Back At You Buddy!

The steroid ship sailed for me about four years ago.  At that point, I dropped my Bob Costas “For the Love of the Game” naivete and began thinking anyone in the game could have been a user.  No discrimination, no hesitation.  I viewed steroids and PED’s in baseball in the same way I viewed cocaine use in the mid-1970s.  Everyone was doing it, so don’t judge individuals.  Instead judge the era.  The latest A-Rod information isn’t such a big deal except for people who still thought of A-Rod as the savior who was going to erase the villainous Barry Bonds from the National Pastime’s ledger.  Well, too bad, and you folks who villify Bonds had better start spreading the hate around. 

 

From day one, Barry Bonds has been the prime target.  Even Clemens, McGwire, Palmeiro, and Sosa have gotten treated with kid gloves compared to Barry Lamar.  Now Barry’s buddy A-Rod should share some heat.  But, instead of spreading the heat I suggest going to the source.  The source, you ask?  The source is one George Walker Bush.  Liberal cynicism?  Nope.  Kicking the cowboy while he’s down?  Nope.  Think about it.  Who stood up in front of the nation and gave Major League Baseball the come to Jesus talk as a part of the State of the Union address?  It was one, George Walker Bush.  Yet, which organization was at the forefront of steroid use when the era began in the mid-1990s?  The Texas Rangers.  Who was running the Texas Rangers at the time Canseco, Juan Gone, and Raffy Palmeiro were sticking each other in the booty?  That’s right, George Walker Bush.  Bush’s political legacy will take generations and gallons of “white out” to fix.  His social legacy needs to suffer as well.  How is the guy who “cowboyed” up to hunt down drugs in baseball going to be the actual source of the problem?  That shows how ridiculous this issue is.  The steroid ship has sailed.  Let’s sink it at sea and just admit that baseball has been screwed up for a long time.  Stop this damn posturing about who gets into the Hall of Fame.  If cats from this tainted era have the numbers, put them in the Hall.  Don’t sit there and not vote for McGwire because he didn’t say anything.  Do you want a Hall of Fame filled with Melky Cabrera’s and Steve Finley’s?  Vote for McGwire.  Vote for Bonds.  Vote for A-Rod.  But first vote for Pete Rose.  If not, the Hall will end up looking lamer than it already does.

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!

 

Mark McGwire’s Brother is a Rat

 

Beat Your Brother's Ass!

Mark McGwire did steroids.  We know this.  This isn’t a big deal anymore.  Silence is admission of guilt, and when was the last time you heard Mark McGwire speak?  That’s right, it was when he pleaded the fifth like a Chappelle’s show skit.  Well, in a story that’s about as tired and used up as a hooker at a 1994 house party at Michael Irvin’s house, Mark McGwire’s younger brother Jay is making headlines (more like footnotes) with a proposed book that details brother Mark’s steroid use.  Big whoopty-do.  It should be noted that Jay and Mark are estranged and Jay claims that he introduced Mark to ‘roids after Mark saw Jay win a bodybuilding contest.  Jay’s looking for a payday and that’s where the FlyMaster’s ire gets raised.

Assaults on filial piety, the sanctity of the family, and sibling bonds are the lowest of the low.  Rats are dealt with pretty severely in prison, and thus they should be karmically retributed against with the utmost impunity when they betray their family.  All families bicker, fight, become estranged, burn each other’s houses, beat each other’s puppies, but that all stays in the family.  That’s rule number one.  Jay McGwire broke the golden rules of being a family member and in his meager attempts to capitalize on his brother’s demons only make him a demon of higher caliber.  What’s next, Jay?  Are you going to rat out your other brother Dan, one of the worst NFL QB busts in the last 30 years, for being a hideously bad gunslinger who was a product of the San Diego State offense of the late 1980s?  You jerk! 

Please allow the FlyMaster to make an open statement to the FlySister.  FlySister, if you ever rat me out on all the ridiculously dumb, dimwitted, nefarious stuff the FlyMaster is responsible for the FlyMaster will find you.  Find you he will.  However, if you choose to write some memoir of FlyMaster’s foibles please ask for more than $100K, although I doubt you’d receive more than $4 bucks, a six pack of Pabst, and some gummy bears.  But, on the real side, the FlySister understands this agreement as an unsaid code of siblings.  That’s what makes Jay McGwire even more of a douchetard.  He didn’t even realize the idiocy and ignorance of his actions.  Remember people, nothing is more important than maintaining belief in your family members even if they’re a walking petri dish of HGH, horse testosterone, and cow urine.  Back acne and rages aside, he’s still your brother. 

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!

What the Hell is That? Volume 2

Steroids for Kids? Damn!

A father’s love knows no bounds.  Fathers dedicate themselves to providing their kids with the best opportunities to succeed, protect them from and prepare them for the awaiting world, and of course, give their kids steroids as motivation to become better athletes.  Meet Mr. Todd Gerleman, an Iowa resident who expressed his love for his 14 year old son by injecting the boy with steroids and supplying him with a cocktail of pills.  Do you smell “Father of the Year” yet?  Well, let the story unfold.  Gerleman’s dedication to his son’s competitive excellence only became apparent after his son assaulted his mother in what police described as a “steroid rage.”  Mom obviously wasn’t on the same page as the Gerleman boys.  By the way, Gerleman is pronounced “girlie man.”   Back to our story of father-son bonding.  Gerleman said he was giving his son steroids as a means to motivate him in sports.  Damn, that is some out of the box thinking.  “Here son, the road to success begins with me shooting some unnatural shit into your butt.”  Play like a champion today. 

First of all, look at this fool’s mugshot.  Is that the face of a motivational speaker?  Why are most cats busted for steroid dealing overweight?  I guess the NWA warning of  not “getting high on your own supply” resonates with the ‘roid dealers of the world.  Secondly, his son is a high school wrestler (already a suspiciously homoerotic subculture) and this guy is basically using his son as a guinea pig.  This defines perversion.  Ok, before we condemn the man let’s listen to the case…let’s give the Gerleman some props.  He’s definitely thinking outside of the box.  In a time when the sports world has rallied against steroids and performance enhancers, Gerleman stood strong in his convictions.  A rogue salmon swimming down stream while the rest of the pack swam upstream to spawn.   It takes true belief in one’s progeny’s capabilities to want to inject them with steroids thereby increasing the size of his frontal lobe while simulataneously shrinking his nuts to the size of sunflower seeds.  Acne on the back?  That’s comes with the glory of being Iowa State Wrestling champ.  Gerleman is the sports equivalent of those backwoods militia men who ride around on ATVs while spewing the “Freedom Or Death” rhetoric through their missing front teeth.  Gerleman is in a league of his own, and I don’t encourage you to join this league.

In my attempts to improve my son’s performance in his 6 and under soccer league I’ve too use methods that may be deemed unorthodox, unethical, unusual, maniacal, and laced with evil.  I can’t afford steroids, and my disdain of synthetic drugs prevent me from concocting any cocktails, but the FlyMaster has his methods.  Method one is called “pull my chariot with your teeth.”  This involves me sitting in a red wagon while he chomps down on a twine tether and pulls me up the driveway.  This is great for leg strength, determination, neck stability, and is an adjunct way of flossing.  Don’t mind the bloody gums.  They get used to that.  Method two is called “get a job muthaf**ker.”  You got to pay to play, and having mundane jobs teaches kids the value of getting to play games.  Plain and simple.  Each day after school I drop him off at the life insurance agency and he gets busy trying to slang policies.  He’s not bad for a six year old, but I’d never buy from him or tell him he’s doing well.  Got to keep their mental state slightly fragile.  Method three is called “play with the big boys son.”  This involves putting him on the field with his dad’s crew of roughneck soccer players.  Now the FlyMaster plays with a crew of Irish miscreants, salty Mexicans, angered Englishmen, two Argentinian jerks, and some old-school pipe smoking brothas.  We put the FlySon in goal and practice taking penalty shots at him.  Trick is, we blind fold him.  That develops the chi and sensory perception.  All of these methods have combined to completely screw up my son’s head and sense of self, but hey that’s what Gerleman was doing also, so I’m not alone. 

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!