Extreme “Hall of Fame” Makeover

Ahh, the New Year is upon us and with it comes the annual black tie banquets awarding the best of 2008, and the gathering of “revered” sportswriters and baseball eficionados on who will be recognized for their illustrious contributions to the sport.

I will spare any readers the proverbial Slumdog Millionaire and/or The Wrester references and get right to the point.  The Baseball Hall of Fame, well, lets just say that they really need to take a good look at themselves and determine exactly what they are rewarding players for.  Sure, in there defense, their has been well-documented controversy surrounbding the pre-2001 Veteran’s Committee, comprised of former MLB’ers, passing on former foes and giving special consideration to former teammates, but still, the general philosophy of who is a Hall of Famer and who isnt, is in my opinion, still highly flawed.

First off, I would like to congratulate Jim Rice for making it in, in his final year of eligibility…how convenient, huh.  Second, I would like to congratulate arguably the most impressive overall player of my youth, Mr. Ricky Henderson…BUT!  My understanding is that there are 539 ballots comprised of the BBWWA (Baseball Writers) and the Veteran’s Committee.  Ricky Henderson received 511 votes making him only the  44th player of the 200+ candidates to be elected on the first ballot.  My first question is this, who the hell are these 28 so-called experts that didnt vote for Ricky Henderson. Lets hold that thought.

Ricky did most of his damage in the first half of his career, fair enough, many players prior to the steroid era did, so then why is it that players that have short but amazing careers can not get serious attention, for example, Donny Baseball.  Don Mattingly.  Mattingly received a mere 64 votes, that is less than Alan Trammell, Dave Parker, and Tommy John.  Once again, I grew up watching 80’s baseball, and for the same reasons that Gale Sayers is in the NFL Hall of Fame, Don Mattingly should be as well.  He dominated pitchers!  He was as good a player as I have ever seen for 3 years, the best!  No disrespect Boggs, Ichiro, Gwynn, Griffey, A-Rod, etc, but he was the best!

OK, so back to Ricky not getting those 28 votes…Look at this list of players that have received votes over these past few years:

Todd Stottlemyre

Travis Fryman

Hal Morris

Gregg Jefferies

Walt Weiss

Tony Phillips

Jim Eisenreich

So, these guys were “serviceable” MLB players.  But I would appreciate it if congress went back and documented exactly who cast those votes and impeach them from the voting committee!  That is bull!  I can assure you that the people that used their votes on these guys passed on Jim Rice, Dale Murphy, Don Mattingly, Tim Raines, Jack Morris…and Pete Rose!  LOL

Over these next 5 years, there will be a handful of new Hall of Fame players…so i would like to play “true, un-biased, baseball fan” and suggest who of the available candidates should be in the Hall of Fame.  Lets all cross-reference this list in exactly 5 years from today and see where we are, cool?

IN:

Roberto Alomar

Greg Maddux

Barry Bonds

Roger Clemens

Sammy Sosa

(For the latter three, my theory is this, if the MLB didnt catch it before they had the successes they did, you still let them in…same with Pete Rose.  For cryin out loud, Ty Cobb  is in the HOF.)

Notable people that should NOT get voted in:

Mike Mussina, Mike Piazza, Curt Schilling, Craig Biggio, Bernie Williams, Rafael Palmeiro, Juan Gonzalez, Jeff Bagwell, Barry Larkin, and oh how I hate to say this, my favorite player in the world, Edgar Martinez!!!

Rickey Henderson – Hall of Fame Linguist

Part Cobb, Part Satre

The 2009 MLB Hall of Fame class will be announced later today and one thing is for certain; Mr. Rickey Henderson’s name will be announced.  Thank the heavens.  The numbers don’t lie.  First in all-time runs.  First in all-time steals.  First in leadoff homers.  First in third person references.  Before Rickey, the word “I” was the most common word used by athletes.   Now the time has come to salute Rickey.

Without Rickey’s groundbreaking reconstruction of the English language by means of shunning the first person where would the sports world be?  Bo Jackson would have just been a stuttering bull from the Deep South had Rickey not paved the way.  Manny Being Manny?  Rickey Being Rickey is the only “being” that matters.  Put all of the on-the-field excellence Rickey exuded aside and ponder how it really feels when someone you’re speaking to refers to themself in the third person.  It’s quite odd, and furthermore, it’s a little intimidating.  When a person answers a question in the third person it completely removes the question asker from the conversation.  Thus, it is no longer a conversation, but instead a monologue of the most disassociated sense.  Example: “How’ve you been?”  “FlyMaster’s been working on his type speed and FlyMaster’s font choices are improving.”  See, that just sounds cool, yet removed.

Rickey’s gifts to our cultural lexicon do not end with his mastery of the third.  No, he also made the non sequitor, the double entendre, malapropisms, and syllogistic arguments forms of art.  From standing in his New York condo and saying he could see the “Entire State Building,” to telling the A’s “if you want to pay me like Mike Gallego, I’ll play like Mike Gallego,” Rickey channeled the best of Ty Cobb and Jean-Paul Satre.  A philospher capable of creating poignancy from simplicity.  Who can’t appreciate a man who would stand in front of the mirror, nude and repeating “Rickey’s the best” for several minutes with the asceticism of St. Augustine before games.  That, my friends is a higher calling.  Rickey’s philosophical genius bears itself in his reaction to becoming Nolan Ryan’s 5,000th strikeout victim.  After fanning Rickey said “Ryan just blew it by me, but it’s an honor….Rickey will have another paragraph in the baseball books….Rickey already is in there three or four times.”  Genius, plain and simple. 

Here’s to the greatest leadoff player in history, the first left fielder to be inducted since Yaz, the man who could not recognize John Olerud after playing with him on two teams, and the “symbol of great base stealing.”  All hail Rickey.  Rickey hail Rickey.  FlyMaster can’t wait for the Hall of Fame speech.

FlyMaster Signing Off…For Now!